The Cat Lady

I think we will start BIG. This is probably one of the more interesting conversations we as crusaders have ever seen. It all started when we met this guy on Omegle and invited him to converse with my friend, his friend and I on Skype, via microphone. This person, who shall remain nameless was very interested in joining our ranks as a crusader and instantly set forth on a quest to find the most depraved people on the internet, and with great skill i will add. The "lady" he found was dubbed the cat lady for obvious reasons. I will attempt to paraphrase as it was a very long conversation but you will understand.


You: hi
Stranger: DO RE MI
Stranger: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
You: asl?
Stranger: HIGHFIVE!
Stranger: 19 fem
Stranger: scotland
You: lol 14/f/usa

This is a pretty normal conversation starting point with both parties lying about both their age and their gender. But then things started to get abit weird

Stranger: Lets have a battle
Stranger: haha
You: lol
Stranger: *low jab*
Stranger: stranger got hit!
You: lol
You: I have no idea what u are doing

And then it just got worse

Stranger: Okay ^^'
Stranger: *gives you some milk* ;3
You: lol
You: thanks
You: I don't actually like milk all that much. only every now and then
Stranger: aha okay XD
Stranger: oh you dropped some milk on your shirt.. ;D
Stranger: I have a MJ mask.. btw
You: a what?
Stranger: Michael Jackson
You: lol that's kinda scary
Stranger: yes it is! xd
Stranger: planning to walk with it today
Stranger: outside
You: lol
Stranger: I wanna see the reactions
You: ppl are going to think u are crazy
Stranger: I am v_v XD
Stranger: and I dont care ;3

fyi, this was about 1 day after MJ passed away, and all ready "she" is making jokes about it, i mean come on... And then suddenly, the line that found the weirdnes line, and raped it behind a McDonalds....

Stranger: *approaches the stranger and licks the milk from her chest*
Stranger: meow
You: haha
Stranger: tastes good miss ;D

and it gets worse

Stranger: aww so you like girls also :d
You: haha I dunno
Stranger: :3!
Stranger: it looks some milk went into your bra miss... meow
You: lol
Stranger: I will get it now.. ;3
Stranger: gently I undo the stranger of her bra.. ;3
Stranger: 'ahh there it is!'
You: lol there what is?
Stranger: milk that you spilled ;D
Stranger: and of course.. your firm breasts.. v_v

Stranger: *licks up the milk from the strangerrrr*
Stranger: oh! your nipples getting harder stranger 0.0
You: lol, I don't know what to say
Stranger: it's okay miss.. just relax ;3 meow
Stranger: gently I lick your small breasts, following with soft bites into your nipples. ;3
You: lol don't bite hard
Stranger: I won't! ^^'
Stranger: I start sucking on your left nipple.. and slowly massaging your other breast
Stranger: do you like it miss?
You: lol I dunno

You: I just don't know what to do
Stranger: my right hand slowly moves downward
Stranger: just play with me kitty ;D
Stranger: feeling your buttcheeks..

The interesting thing is that the Cat lady continues on by her self, with very little encouragement from our friend, but we didnt want her to go, i mean this was good material so with a little coaxing our friend made some comments back.


You: can I feel where you pee?
Stranger: they are nice and soft miss ^^'
Stranger: sure If you want ^^'
You: lol feels nice
Stranger: I let her guide down there..
You: how do you want me to do it?
Stranger: Can you feel my love juices miss ;3
Stranger: I would love you.. to lick me down there.. :3
You: I've never done that!
Stranger: okay! but would you try it? :3 <3
You: I don't know lol. you try first?
Stranger: sure hon. I'll start :3 meowww
Stranger: my right hand feels between your legs.. it's starting to get wet miss!
Stranger: As my left hand keeps playing with your nipples <3 You: =)
Stranger: you start panting softly..
You: am I? Stranger: My head faces your neck..
Stranger: Hahah I guess not ;D Y
ou: I can't tell!
You: this is so different
Stranger: but do I please you miss? I answer,
Stranger: I suck on your neck, biting it verociously <3
You: mmhmmm
Stranger: as my hand gets working down on your lovely cunt, ;d <3
Stranger: love juices poor out of the young lady.. making it easier for me to enter my finger

for the sake of our readers sanity i should probably not ever post most of what happens next, but really, FUCK SANITY

Stranger: my finger is making upward and downward strokes in your vagina.. trying to reach for your cute g-spot ;d
Stranger: ahh I found it! <3
Stranger: I'll rub it for you miss ;d
Stranger: gently I start stimulating your g-spot...
Stranger: while I kiss you on the lips
You: mmmm
You: I'm all tingly
Stranger: you kiss so sweet!
Stranger: awwww cutey ;)
You: I've never kissed anyone before
Stranger: aww you must be so sweet I guess ^^'
Stranger: we start tonguekissing eachother as I start rubbing your g-spot more heavy
Stranger: I can hear your breathing gets heavier miss :3
Stranger: my thumb plays with your clitoris.. ;p
Stranger: as 2 of my fingers slide inside you
Stranger: so wet! You: mmm, be careful I cant fit anything too big
Stranger: I will miss. ;) Ill be very gentle with you..
Stranger: your g-spot feels as if its about to burst miss!
Stranger: and your clitoris got erect and blood is pumping through your private part <3
You: that can happen??
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: some girls can squirt..
Stranger: I cannot though..
Stranger: I start moving my face towards your vagina.
Stranger: oh do you shave or trim or?
You: um not really
Stranger: okayy ;) Stranger: I start feeling your lady garden
Stranger: it feels lovely miss..
Stranger: Let me eat you.. ;d
Stranger: y-you want me to ?
You: mmm sure
Stranger: I can smell your pheromones miss <3 you seem ready for sex already I whisper
Stranger: but I want to feel you down myself also . <3

Lady garden? really? It was about this time he finally got some pictures of this crazy chick though we all suspected they weren't really her as they looked way to proffessional.

Stranger: I start licking your inner and outer labias
Stranger: follow along with me miss ;3
You: following you =)
Stranger: f-feels good.. but be gentle at first!
Stranger: I need time to get fully aroused meowww
You: =) meowww
Stranger: ahhhh
Stranger: let me reveal your clitoris ones more..
Stranger: I start licking your clitoris with much passion <3
Stranger: ahh finger me gently miss! ;d Stranger: I clamp onto your left leg with two of my arms..
Stranger: starting to make my hips move against your soaking wet cunt ;p
You: I'm going to orgasm =)
Stranger: Can you hear the sloshing sounds!
Stranger: aww really? are you masturbating miss? <3
You: maybe =)
Stranger: cutey ;)
Stranger: I start moving my thighs faster.. and faster.. letting my erect clit hit yours
Stranger: our love juices mix and make lovely sloshing sounds.. <3 meowww You: here it comes Stranger: ahhh
You: are u going to?
Stranger: sure! lets come together miss!!
Stranger: ready when you are
Stranger: *shlick shlick shlick*
You: I'm ready
You: mmmmmm
Stranger: awww
Stranger: mjmm
Stranger: did you.. come? "3
You: yess
You: did you?
Stranger: almost!
Stranger: <3
Stranger: let me cum miss! You: go for it!!!
Stranger: talk to me miss >3
Stranger: dirty ;)

OK so this had basically gone on long enough, it was time for an exist stratergy, and the best bet was to confess to not being a 14 year old girl. the resoponse was....interesting.


You: I just busted a nut all over my keyboard so the keys are sticking
Stranger: asm
Stranger: hotttt
Stranger: <333
You: my cum is everywhere and my dick is starting to get hard again! amazing!
Stranger: AHH A SHEMALE ;P
You: and the penny drops =)
Stranger: lol so you just tricked me ;d
You: oh because you're not some 40 year old dude
Stranger: but you made me cum nevertheless ;)

and finally....

Stranger: have fun and grow up to be a fine.. man or woman lol
You: bye
Stranger: Xx
Your conversational partner has disconnected.